A Mother's Dreams
by Cheeky Slytherin Lass
Summary: Eileen once dreamt of getting as far away from Spinner's End as possible. Now, she has something more important to worry about. Now, her dreams change.


**Written For:** Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition

 **Round Two**

 **Holyhead Harpies, Beater Two**

 **Mandatory Prompt:** Base your story in Spinner's End

 **Optional Prompts:** 2\. (quote) "Freedom is still the most radical idea of all."- Nathaniel Branden

8.(dialogue) "If you leave now, you get nothing."

9\. (word) shadow

 _Word Count: 1180_

* * *

Spinner's End. Eileen has hated the place since Tobias told her it was home. It is a grim, dreary place that a pureblood would never even dream of in their worst nightmares.

Broken glass litters the street. Houses that might have once been nice show signs of falling apart. Weeds spill out onto the street from their beds of overgrown grass. Everything about the place screams neglect.

As she walks along the grimy street, clutching the bag of groceries tightly so that no hooligans will try to snatch it from her and leave her hungry, she remembers her old desires to escape. It's always seemed like such an impossible dream. Where could she go? She's traded all of her possibilities, hopes, and dreams for a Muggle man who has only ice in his heart.

" _If you leave now, you get nothing."_

That's what Tobias told her the first time she voiced her desire. She had been young and foolish enough to believe him. He promised her that they would have a good life, a proper home. He promised her the world, and, so in love with him, she believed he could deliver. She had been so foolish.

It's been two years, and things have only gotten worse. Her husband's neglect has grown. She no longer dreams of running away, of setting out on her own and somehow finding her own path. There are more important things in her life now. Dreams of freedom will have to wait.

Eileen finally reaches the last house on the street and sighs. She sets the bag of groceries on the ground next to the welcome mat that has been trodden and worn down until only _LCO_ is visible. This isn't the life she dreamt of when she was younger. This isn't the small, cozy cottage by the sea, and the man waiting inside for her isn't the dashing pureblood who thinks that she is the world. But this is hers. This is her life.

She fishes in her tattered coat pocket, fingers gripping the key within. It would be so much easier to use her wand and cast a spell to unlock the door, but Tobias has forbidden her from using magic. He doesn't like it, and he has the nasty habit of painting his dislike for things over her face with his knuckles.

She unlocks the door and grabs her bag, stepping inside. Tobias lays on the couch, his eyes fixed upon the newspaper in his hands, ignoring the cries that carry through the house from the nursery. "Your son needs you," he says coolly.

 _Your_ son. Not _our_ son. Eileen winces at the sting of his words.

"Will you at least put the groceries away while I tend to him?" Eileen asks.

"That's your job. Do I look like a woman?" he counters, lowering the newspaper so that she can see the irritation in his eyes.

Eileen swallows dryly and shakes her head. She moves quickly to the kitchen before her husband can decide that she's trying to pick a fight. Severus' wailing only grows louder, and she rushes to put everything away. If she abandons her task, Tobias will be angry; if she goes slowly and doesn't get Severus calmed down soon, Tobias will be angry. Eileen almost wants to cry with her son over the hopeless situation.

"Mummy is coming, dear," she calls when she finally shuts the door to the pantry and makes her way to the nursery.

Severus lays in his cot, squirming and fussing. His blanket is on the floor, and he's soaked through. Eileen feels her tears cling to her lashes. She wipes them away quickly and lifts her son. She can't break down in front of him. Even if he is much too young to know how much she's hurting, she has to be strong for him.

"There's a good boy," she whispers, and his wailing slowly dies down, fading into quiet whining.

She retrieves her wand. Tobias will never know. He so rarely pops in to check on their son, especially when Eileen is tending to Severus. He won't see her use magic. He won't have a reason to be upset with her.

She casts a cleaning spell to deal with the foul stain of urine that has saturated the mattress before turning her attention to her son. He's so young, so small. He isn't like her, not yet. He still has hope, still has a future.

She could never escape from this place, but Severus can.

Eileen cleans Severus off, changes his nappy, and puts him in a fresh outfit. It's tattered and stained, but at least it will offer him some warmth. "All better, Sevvy," she murmurs, rocking him gently in her arms. "Shhh. Everything will be okay."

It _will_ be okay. Maybe not for her. But Severus has so many possibilities before him. He can go and live a great life, like the life she dreamt of for herself, the life she could never obtain.

His fussing finally dies down completely. Eileen breathes a sigh of relief. No more noise. No reason for Tobias to decide to angrily intervene because she's incompetent.

She returns her son to his cot, watching shadows dance across his face. With a soft smile, she pulls the blanket over him, tucking him in. "You're going to be a great man, Severus," she tells him. "You're going to do so much. I already know. Wouldn't be surprised if you became Minister one day."

She wants to believe her own words. Every mother wishes a full, happy life for her child. Still, as much as her heart yearns for her son to escape from this hellhole, as much as she wants to believe that he'll find freedom and happiness away from this place, she's still reminded of her own failure.

" _If you leave now, you get nothing."_

She hopes that he'll never be faced with such a choice. She hopes that he won't fall in love with the wrong person and remain trapped. She hopes that he will leave, that he will find everything his heart could ever desire.

"You can do it," she whispers. "It might seem impossible, but you can be great, little one. You can be free."

Severus lets out a brief string of nonsensical baby gibberish, smiling up at her. Maybe he understands somehow. Maybe he knows that the odds are stacked against him, that freedom is such a revolutionary notion, but he will overcome it. He will go on to do great things that she can only dream of.

"Aren't you done yet?" Tobias yells. "It's nearly lunchtime, and you haven't even started a damn thing!"

Eileen leans down, pressing a kiss to her son's forehead. "Be strong, my love," she whispers. "Everything will fall into place."

She straightens her posture and steps away, lingering in the doorway for a moment longer, staring at the small bundle in the cot. She is stuck here. She has made all the wrong choices. But Severus can find his freedom, and that's all that really matters.


End file.
